I am engaged to a woman, after I and her family read sura al-Fatiha at her family’s house [with the intention of approving the engagement], in the presence of witnesses, but we did not write a marriage contract. During my engagement, I kissed her, and I want to know how to expiate for the kiss that I had before we married. Also, I want to know: Is it permissible to kiss her after we conduct the marriage contract and before consummating the marriage, since we are planning for her to remain in her family’s house for one year after we conduct the marriage contract قبلت خطيبتي .. فما الحكم؟

All praise is due to Allah alone, and may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions. To answer your question, we say while seeking all the success from Allah: It is impermissible to be in privacy with your fiancée, or even touch her, until you conduct the marriage contract. This is because before the marriage contract, she is still a foreign woman to you. Therefore, I advise you to fear Allah and not do it again to avoid sinning again. We also advise you to increase your night prayers because a man once came to the Prophet (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I fondled a woman in the furthest outskirts of Madinah, but I did not actually have intercourse with her. Here I am, judge me as you wish.” ‘Umar said to him: “Allah had covered you, you should have covered yourself (i.e., you should not have spoken of it).” The Prophet (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) did not reply at all, so the man got up and left. The Prophet (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) sent a man to follow him, call him and recite to him the ayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And pray at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).” [Quran 11:114]. A man who was present said: “O Messenger of Allah! Is this just for him?” He said, “No, it is for all the people.” Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim If you have conducted your marriage contract, then you may kiss her and enjoy her, even before consummating the marriage, because she is your wife. And Allah is the Guide to success.

Your brother,

Khalid al-Muslih

  18/10/1424